I've Thought About It, So What?

I held out from/had no interest in watching American Idol for all these years it has been on. If I saw a snippet of singing and all that lights-and-magic-garish-pop-making machinery, well, I changed the channel faster than a lactose intolerant sailor could (uh, I don't really know where I was going with that so you can finish the sentence for yourself). Seriously, I didn't watch the neverending tryouts, let alone the actual competition. I found the whole thing rather appalling. Terrible. Awful. Who cares that I secretly kind of like that Kelly Clarkson song (look, it's catchy and I didn't actually know who the hell she was until after I found the song catchy so give me a break. Seriously, just give it to me....the break) that's nobody's business but my own.
But this year I have gotten into it a little bit. I blame T. predominantly. For putting it on one night and forcing me to sit down and watch it...he threatened my life. It was death by Casper or watch American Idol...what would you do? What would Jesus do? I'll tell you what Jesus would do (I can't speak for you)...he'd sit down and he'd watch American Idol and he'd judge. If Randy quit I think Jesus would make a great Randy...'Dude, baby, what's going on, you just sang a song? Yeah it was a little pitchy. You need some water? How about a little wine, you look stressed. I could just do a little whiz bang boom magic and turn Ryan Secrest into a tall glass of sangria, if you'd like. You'll make it through to the top four. My dad told me so. I can't tell you if you'll win or not, sorry.' The point is that it's fun to shout at people who can do things I can't do at all. It shows I have taste and know how to be discerning.
Last week I was certain that Ramielle Malubay would finally be sent packing (I took immense issue with skunkhead staying so long...but then she finally went away and I felt incredibly vindicated). Her performances have been incredibly not interesting and sub par, I don't care what Paula Abdul says about her amazing, brilliant, shiny talent. So I was unpleasantly surprised that she lasted another week...Chikezie would have had to go at some point (is it just me or is the whole Luther Vandross music like scene played the ef out?) but not before her! Obviously I am not the quitessential American (the whole Jesus as Randy thing probably was a good hint).

David Archuleta, my early favorite, has proven himself a lot less cute after a number of overly earnest songs...Phil Collins is great, but not when a 17 year old from Utah covers him. He's got an amazing voice. That is a fact. But his tastes run towards the bad and the maudlin. Basically he should just get into Christian rock and be done with it.
I'm hoping for the two older dudes: David Cook and Michael Johns. David Cook manages to adapt and arrange his songs and make them at least a little, if not entirely, new. Billie Jean was pretty amazing. I thought. He's got a giant head. I mean huge.
This guy does a similarly good job of not just regurgitating existing versions of songs and he's got a nice bellowy voice. Neither has the range or sweetness that little Archuleta has, but they have taste. And that counts for a lot. Just ask me. I have it, so I can tell you too.
Jason Castro, he's got the pretty eyes and face of the century. Or at least of the contest. Now if only he'd get over the dread locks. I have a sinking suspicion he won't. His clothes and voice and whatnot are destined for big, sold out shows in Belgium or maybe Norway.