Not Tim Curry, Chicken Curry

I log a few hours in the library most days. Not every day but most days. I usually spend the first hour blogging and doing things with photographs. Then I do some job searching and application making and cover letter creating. I average about three jobs for every day I do it. Since June I have applied to numerous college and private high school admissions office, one community college, a plethora of editorial assistant positions, a photo research position or two, a copywriter position for Old Navy, many freelance writing jobs and, most recently, a Kraft recipe coordinator position. Thus far I have gotten no positive replies and only one absolute negative. Though I am pretty certain that any of the jobs I applied to in June are gone and done and not ever going to come my way. It's a bit frustrating. I know it's to be expected but it's still a wee tad bit annoying. Two nights back the parents and I were talking and I had a brief moment of clarity. Clarity in the form of the kind of person I am, the sort of job I want and the life I would like to live. What it comes down to is: a large part of me would be really happy being a rural postal worker. I asked my mother if she would be disappointed if I did this and she said no. Though she also said that she would say it was what I was doing while, really, I was a writer.

Notice the difference of these two hypothetical conversations...

Hypothetical conversation #1.
Setting: A cocktail party or dinner hosted by my parents and attended by their various friends.

Lady Friend: So, cc's mom what's your daughter up to these days?
CC's Mom: Well, she recently got her MFA in writing up in Chicago.
Lady Friend: That's great! That's exciting!
CC's Mom: Yes she seemed to enjoy her time there.
Lady Friend: So what's she doing now? Writing the great American novel? Living in some hip artistic community?
CC's Mom: Well, no. Actually, she's a postal worker.
Lady Friend: Oh. I see.

Hypothetical conversation #2.
Setting: The same.

The first five lines are the same.
CC's Mom: Well, she's a writer but you know how it is she's got student loans and she wants to buy a house so until she sells her novel she's working at a post office.
Lady Friend: That's so smart! It's good to be a bit practical while striving for creative perfection.
CC's Mom: Yes, I agree.

Okay those two examples aren't really as different as I meant them to be. But you see what I mean? I am a writer. I do write. But I'm not entirely certain that any novel of mine will ever make it into a bound form. This is just the truth. And I am certain that I am not really made to have some high powered job that is cool and interesting and fun. In the conversation with my parents I began reliving my days at the sheep farm...and missing them. The days were nice. My tasks were, for the most part, soothing. Using my hands, organizing, being almost entirely on my own. But with the occasional surprise when my boss turned up to say that the dogs had escaped, a new lamb was born, the sheep got out, whatever it was. And now I'm applying to these jobs where things won't be simple. I can do them. I may even do them well. But part of me really would like to find a nice small town and be a mail carrier or clerk or sorter (excellent benefits and not too shabby pay). The only problem is that one has to take an exam. Actually that's not the problem. The only problem is that there is often a one to two year wait period before you get a job and this is assuming you are in one of the top spots of aforementioned exam. You see, people in the postal world hold on to their jobs forever. Which means it would be very difficult for me to find a small town to work in. I mean to go to the post office on Monday and ask our local postal guy how the exam was and how it all works. I mean do I have to take the exam in the place I hope to be employed or can I take the exam and shout from the mountain/rooftops that I would move anywhere with open space and a cheap housing market if I could work in a post office?

Oh yes. After the library yesterday I came home to chicken curry. Made from the left over roast chicken...it was really good.