So, with the busy season at work slowing down, I have turned my thoughts towards my vacation schedule for the warmer months. There are plans for a visit to Seattle (which I really need to nail down by sucking it up and buying a ticket), a repeat Preakness experience, and, of course, L. and Fat T.'s wedding in New Hampshire. I have also decided that, after the wedding, I will continue northward to Charlevoix, Canada for a few days of camping, whale watching, biking and cheese farm touring.
I still have a lot of research and planning ahead of me before this Canada trip officially becomes more than just a crazy dream, but I really hope I keep it together. I have already told a few people about this tentative plan, and they have asked me who I plan on going to Canada with, and the answer is myself, but, I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit annoyed that this is the case. This is not about my having a lack of friends as much as it is about not having a boyfriend. It's lame, I know, to care about this (it's not really lame, but I feel like I'm supposed to be a bit more stoic about it) but, whatever, I care. I would like to have a partner in crime who is equally interested in going to a pretty place, eating farm fresh food, watching whales and camping with a bunch of French Canadians...who would also like to hold hands with me on occasion.
I mean, sure, I'd like to have a significant other on a more daily basis, but the lack of a companion for a vacation is annoying me more than my average irked-ness over the lack of someone to do the bills with or to count on for conversation and cuddles after the work day. I think I touched upon this in the past, when discussing my inability, when driving from Philly to Tennessee, to venture off the highway on my own, not out of a sense of fear, but a sense of needing someone else to rationalize the waste of gas and time. I do not need a boyfriend to do interesting things, but it would be a nice change of pace.
This line of thought was most definitely compounded by this essay, which L. shared with me last week. I may be oversimplifying the message (not really, look at the title) but the woman's point basically is that it only gets harder and harder to find someone as you get older, so grab who you can while you can. I think her target audience skewed about ten years older than me, but it seems like the message is entirely applicable to me and my peers. If we don't want to be a 38 year old woman who artificially inseminated herself and now has no time for love, we best find ourselves a less than ideal mate right now. But, how less than ideal are we talking? Someone with whom I wouldn't actually want to go to Charlevoix, Canada? Someone who wouldn't want to go to Charlevoix, Canada with me? At exactly what point does one need to adjust their expectations? And what if your expectations aren't that high to start with?
Just some thoughts for a rainy Sunday afternoon. Don't judge me.